Narcoleptic Squirrel

So, last Sunday was Movieoke. After Movieoke, we decided to head over to O’Donovan’s. Our favorite karaoke hostess doesn’t work there anymore, but we were within walking distance and wanted to see if any of our friends were there. My sis was still in town, so the three of us ventured over. G was in his usual jeans and tee combo. I was wearing some new funky black capris (they were on clearance and not only fit…but looked cute–a miracle!!) and a Tripp polo shirt that has lace trim, gathered sleeves, and lace-up accents with comfy black flats and no make-up while sis was in a cute strappy black dress with fishnet accents. Very cute. Anyhow, we get to O’Ds and find an abandoned table, and figure that although we don’t see who we thought we might, G and I would sing a song before heading home to bed. I decided to sing “Stupid Girl” by Garbage (on of my karaoke faves). When my turn came, I was singing my heart out and rocking out, as one must do when singing Garbage. I notice these two guys sitting at the near end of the bar, one with his back to me, and the other facing him and me. The one facing me gets the other to look at me. He proceeds to spend the rest of my song ogling me. Charming. I finish, and return to the table. Bar guy comes over and sits his drunk ass down. He introduces himself as Dave, first to G, then to me. He shakes my hand with a death grip. I shake and go to let go, ut the death grip does not loosen. I shake and release again, to no avail. After several tries, and my fingers turning blue, he lets go. He proceeds to ask what I do for a living, and prods for where and what city. I hear him go on about being from Wisconsin. Something about a small town, something about Minneapolis. I wasn’t really sure. Then he reaches over and pulls my right sleeve edge up to my shoulder. I must’ve had the “WTF???” look on my face, because he lets go and explains that he thought I had a tattoo. Okay drunk guy. He then starts to talk to G. Alliecat and I have no freaking clue as to what they are talking about, but G has to leave the table for his song. Drunk guy leans over to me and slurs something about “that guy” telling him to leave and some other mumbly slurry stuff. He then leans over to Alliecat and asks if she is married, she says yes, and he goes on, sort of sarcastic-like, about how happy he is for her, and how great that is, and how he used to be married but now he’s divorced. AFter what seems like a decade, he gets up to leave. He extends his hand to Allie. She remembered what happened to me, and keeps her hands on her purse, saying Goodbye. He is insistent, and catches her in the eternal handshake.
As we are walking back to our car, we are talking about weird guy, and I am trying to figure out how I repeatedly attract the weirdest guys. G tells us what he and the drunk guy talked about. Apparently, drunk guy leaned over to G and asked, “So, which one do you want? I don’t want any conflict man.” G replied that since one was his wife and the other his sister-in-law, that maybe he should look elsewhere. I have to say that goes down as the most awesome attempted pick-up I’ve ever had. I think it tops the guy who asked for directions….to my heart and the guy who approached G in the bathroom to aske if he was with me, and then asked if I was single. I am so glad that I get only the dudes with the most discriminating of tastes.
“Hutch: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we’re gonna stick to this?
Starsky: I’ve always had a thing for blondes.
Hutch: Good, cause I’ll take anything.”
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in Starsky and Hutch (2004)

This entry was posted on Monday, August 7th, 2006 at 2:08 AM and is filed under Random Ramblings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.