Yeah, just like.
The morning started off easy, but has quickly advanced in difficulty. And here I am without a joystick.
Anyway, I had an audition yesterday. 99.44% of the time, I am cool about getting or not getting the role. Y’know, like it would be nice to be in the play, but I wouldn’t fret over it if the director saw someone else in the role. The other .66% of the time I have two minds. There are the auditions I go to perfunctorarily. I really don’t want to get cast, but feel some sort of obligation. Like the infamous U audition I went on.* Then there are those roles I want so badly that it makes me sick. This might sound like a contradiction in terms, but really it’s not. These are the roles I cry over if I don’t get them. To date there have been two. One I didn’t get, came close enough to taste it a little, but no cigar. I cried like a little baby, and then there was the one that I got, and is to this day my favorite role to date.** Yesterday’s audtion was one of those. I want it so, so badly. The director seemed to like me. Enough to tell me nice work on both the monologue I had prepared and the one that he had me read from the show. We talked a bit. I actually felt pretty good about it all. And there weren’t a lot of people there, considering the audition craziness I’ve seen at this perticular theatre. There is one more set of auditions, then maybe callbacks. So, I have to sit and wait. The waiting is the hardest.
*This would be the famous audition for three directors. I perform my monologue. The first director says to me (I kid you not) “Now I want you to go from a rock to a blender. The words don’t matter, I just really want to see you become a rock, then become the blender. GO!” After I think to myself, “WTF?!?!?!!?” I comply. The next director says, ” Now you are a Victorian lady. Very prim and proper. I want you to say the alphabet.” Again, the moment of WTF then compliance. The same director, “Again, you are still the victorian lady, but something is bothering you. Show the distress, but maintain the prim propriety, and say the alphabet. go!” So again, I comply. Finally the third director tells me to act out that I am awakened, something is chasing me across the room, then I get to safety, but I can only utter the word ‘no’ She also says, “Go!” It was the most ridiculous piece of ricockulousness ever. Especially for me to audition only to say I audtioned for University theatre. Thank the gods I wasn’t cast. Of course, the directors could have asked all that purely to see me make an ass out of myself.
** This would be the role where I got to act with a complete asshole. I often left rehearsals with massive bruises. Despite being talked to by the director and AD, he would get better then beat the crap out of me. OUr closing show he lost so much control he nearly killed me. Literally. I should have left the stage, but after trying to keep myself from getting killed or maimed by him, there wasn’t any spare brain function left. Needless to say, he was blacklisted from that theatre.
Despite all that, still my favorite production.