Narcoleptic Squirrel

…hello? …Hello? …Anyone there?
*crickets*
Huh. It turns out you abandon a place and it goes to hell in a handbasket! This place is full of dust, cobwebs, creepy crawlies, that kid that was in Jerry Maguire. Somebody oughtta update this thing!
I’ve been realizing my priorities have run all amok. It wasn’t helped by injury and whatever sleep malady has overcome me, but I am to blame, as well. I realized it as the previous year came to a close, so in the spirit of fresh starts and a year ending in my lucky number I figured I better get my butt in gear, as the kids say, and get going on that. I could call them resolutions, and I guess they are, but I feel like these are just some steps I’m gonna take to get myself back on track. Focusing on one month at a time for now, but keeping some of the bigger picture stuff in my head for the other months. One of those bigger picture things is giving this little blog and its mama site some love. I’d like to give the blog it’s own home. It’s growing up, and needs it’s own space. I think that’s part of why it’s been like an angsty teen here. I know, and the blog knows, it needs to be it’s own thing in order for it to really grow up and be what I want it to be. Keep your peepers here to see what happens as it moves into a new place and gets settled!
Some smaller picture things are focusing on me more. A little each day. I realized I have been throwing all of myself into work. That’s good for my employer, but less good for me. My health has suffered, my home has suffered, my art has suffered (and by art, I just mean all the creative things I enjoy–sewing, painting, papering, designing, acting, etcetra-ing). I could be all crazy and say I’m going to run away and be an artist and live out of my car, but that’s too much. Plus, I like things like running water and health insurance, and I think two adults, two cats, a hamster, and my wardrobe could not live together in our car, no matter how lovely of a car it may be. Besides, my job isn’t terrible or anything, it’s just that it’s not all of me. It’s a part. It’s a part where I get to design things, inspire some people to make their living space all it can be, and work with some cool people. However, I don’t get paid the big bucks. (Do the kids still say that? I’m so out of touch.) Meaning, that I’m not one of the bosses. There is certainly potential for that someday, but not right now. Even if I were one of the bosses, I should not be thinking about work in my free time, nor should I be losing sleep over it.
So, I’m gonna focus a little time each day on the areas of my life that need some love. Some healthy time (exercising–which I so want to spell exorcising & doing those boring things like drinking water and eating vegetables), creating (I have very many beads, fabrics, trims, papers, and more taking up very much space), making our amazing apartment amazing (the bones are there, we just need to trim the fat…so much fat), and getting our personal/social lives back on track. (I hear there are these things called clubs, where there is music and dancing. Mind. Blown.) I figure the latter will happen as the others fall into place. I figure if I start with at least ten minutes in each area every day, that’s not so much that I will wind up flailing about on the floor, crying for another martini, but enough that I an make a dent in things. I can add time, and eventually things will be back in the black! I am also spending ten minutes a day writing. Something. Maybe in my journal, maybe on this blog. But something. I thought I could write a novel (not a good one, mind you, but one) and gave that a shot. After the third try at NaNoWriMo, I realized that a novel is not my thing. Anecdotes, essays, poems, those are my things. I figure maybe that promise I made to a professor roughly an eon ago should come true some day. (I’m not gonna tell you what it is until it does come true, so that’s where you can pester me to tell you what it is, and I will in turn get it closer so that one day when you ask, I will tell you because it’s a thing! And you can say you read this blog when it was a baby blog and stuck with it through those rough adolescent years until it developed into a beautiful swan. Not a butterfly, because those terrify me.)
So, I promise I will see you soon. In the meantime, feel free to make yourself comfortable. Brush off a chair, ignore the cobwebs, and find out what that kid from Jerry Maguire has been up to.

There is this tree in my parents’ front yard. Well, there are many trees in my parents’ front yard, but let’s focus on this one. It grows adjacent to the garage and has been there as long as I can remember. I don’t know the specifics of the type of tree and while I could call my dad right now to find out I really don’t think he would appreciate me calling him at close to midnight just to find out the type of tree I’m trying to write about in my blog. What I do know is that it grows some sort of cherry-like berries. These berries inspired one of my many childhood projects.
At some point, I remember asking my mother what made wine different from juice. They were both made from fruit, so why was one off-limits to wee ones like myself? She explained that wine is fermented, and that causes the sugar from the fruit to turn to alcohol. It all seemed pretty simple to me, so I decided I was going to try my hand at making wine.
Now, if I were a more normal child, I probably would have taken some grape juice out of the fridge for this experiment. That would have been too easy. Instead, I collected a bunch of cherry-berries off of the tree out front. I figured I should start small, so my goal was to make one glass of wine. I sat down at the picnic table in the back yard, a few paper cups decorated with orange and yellow mod-style flowers and a pile of cherry-berries in front of me, the sun reflecting on my paper-white skin. I carefully began extracting juice from the cherry-berries by squashing them between two paper cups, dispensing the juice into a third. This process took a little while, and I wasn’t impressed with the amount of juice I was getting per berry, but I continued until I had a decent glass full. I discarded the cherry-berry chunks and the cups I used to smash them, and carefully brought my cup of juice inside where it would ferment.
Being a small upstart winery, I settled on my closet as the place where the juice would ferment into delicious wine. I tucked the paper cup into the back right corner of my closet. I figured it would be dark enough for proper fermentation, for even when I turned the closet light on that corner stayed shaded by my clothes and toys and such. Then, I waited.
It was a bit of a crapshoot. I didn’t know exactly how long it would take for my juice to turn into wine. Hell, I didn’t even know what those cherry-berries were that I was turning into wine. Still, I waited. I don’t remember how much time elapsed. I peeked at the juice here and there as though I could see that it had turned from juice to wine. Eventually, I was sure enough time had passed that I must have wine. I sniffed it. Then, I sipped it. My experiences with wine at that point were limited to communion and maybe one or two sips of something my mother was drinking. This tasted like neither. To be fair, I didn’t taste it before to see if I even liked the cherry-berries in juice form. I also neglected to find out if they were even edible. So, I suppose I should just be thankful that I didn’t poison myself and my parents didn’t have to find my in a puddle of rancid juice at the bottom of my closet.
These days, making your own wine is sort of a thing. I have friends who have done it. What I gather from it is that it is a lot of work. More work certainly than mashing some cherry-berries in some paper cups and putting it in your closet. More work than I am willing to do for some wine. So, I stick to picking up bottles of Three Buck Chuck or whatever has the prettiest bottle and label. I suppose in the spirit of my inner child, I could try making some prison wine.

Ugh. Just gonna get it out of my system. I cannot understand the fuss over Matt Smith. I won’t say he’s the worst actor, but he’s certainly the laziest that is earning his income purely from his “acting” today. It makes my blood boil, knowing that there are talented actors out there who put their blood, sweat, and tears into their craft, honing their skills, and making ORIGINAL choices to create compelling characters with DEPTH, who are scraping by or working other jobs just so they can do the one thing they love. Knowing that actors in the role before him and (hopefully, soon) after him will do what those other actors do. Breaking of set pieces and copying what others have done isn’t acting. It’s phoning it in to get a paycheck.
There are a handful of things that make my blood boil, and lazy artists are one of them. Maybe because I’m in the arts, it saddens me that people can be taken so easily by pure laziness.

I am trying to get back on a regular blog schedule, I promise! Yet, somehow, last Sunday got away from me. It takes some time to (re)build a habit. I have a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head, but thought that I would give you some insight into my past. Some insight into the journey that brought me to where I am. I think this will make so many things clearer.
Picture it: 1984 or 1985
I would be more specific, but I was in the first grade at this point. It was not winter, so it was either Autumn of ’84 or Spring of ’85. This was around the time my hair was still roughly the color and texture of an orangutan’s. I am lucky that I remember any of this time, as I really should have expunged this era of my youth. You are lucky I didn’t because you get to hear this story.
In these days, we had three fifteen minute recesses. One in the morning, around ten, one after lunch (which was lumped into the lunch period, so the faster you shoveled down your lunch, the more recess time you got. I am realizing suddenly why my stomach is such a hot mess these days.), and one in the afternoon, around two. Huh. This is sounding a lot like my current work schedule. Maybe I need to squeeze some jungle gym time in there, assuming I can find a jungle gym in the immediate proximity.
I digress. In those days, we needed all the recess we could get. Six and seven year olds get restless easily, and are chock full of potential energy. In fact, I am pretty sure the energy crisis would be solved if we could harness the energy on playgrounds across the country. Cars, computers, televisions could all be powered by grade school kids with some to spare. This energy needed to be expended outside of the classroom, lest the school become rubble from trapping it.
During one such recess, I had a, shall we say, falling out with two of my friends. For the purposes of this story, we will call them Lacey and Ted. I wanted to play with Lacey, and she wanted to play with Ted. For fourteen minutes, I begged Lacey to play with me. She refused. By the time the warning bell signaled that we should queue up to go back to class, little Raven of the orangutan hair had enough. I was a mere few feet behind Lacey and Ted as we walked toward the brick building. I picked up a rock from the dusty ground, only small enough for my wee hand to just barely grip it. “You guys are ASSHOLES,” I shouted. That got their attention. The pair turned to look at me. I launched the rock, which connected with Lacey’s temple.
In that moment, I realized I’d really screwed up. I hadn’t intended for my projectile to seriously hurt anyone, I just wanted them to know how angry I was. As Ted announced he was telling, I started to regret some life choices I made that day. Particularly since my mother was the school librarian. There would be no respite from her assured fury until she could drive to the school, or until I got off the bus in the afternoon. I would have only the walk down the hall to the office. I began to apologize profusely. I begged them not to tell anyone. I offered bribes in the form of “Property of Raven” stickers (because who doesn’t want stickers emblazoned with someone else’s name??). As more of our classmates joined Lacey and Ted, it became very clear that I was in serious trouble. “You could have killed her'” admonished a fellow seven-year-old.
We filed into the building. Lacey continued down the hall past our classroom to the office. I headed to my desk, silently praying. It was for naught, as I had barely sat in my chair when our teacher called my name. She questioned me in front of the class, running down the list of my offenses. I confirmed that I swore, threw the rock, and tried to keep it quiet. I was sent to the office. Sure enough, when I walked in, my mother was standing there. I didn’t even get to the secretary’s desk, much less the principal’s office within. Her arms crossed she said, “What did you do?” Her tone was very low and even. The volume that is reserved for only the worst offenses. My head bowed, I could barely lift my eyes to look at her. She gave me a lecture, and led me into the portion of the office reserved for ill children. Had we a nurse, it would have been the nurses office. However, in a small town, the secretary typically gets to fulfill these duties as well. Lacey was sitting in a chair, ice pack to her head. It was confirmed that she would be okay, but the secretary made the possible outcomes very clear. I apologized, and Lacey forgave me.
We walked back to class, holding hands.
If only all disputes could be solved with the simplicity of a seven-year-olds’.

So, most who know me know that I have a fondness for ravens. The fact that I also have a fondness for Edgar Allan Poe is purely coincidental, but lines up rather nicely. Mainly, ravens make me happy. I find them to be comforting and lucky. Should I see a murder of ravens, I take it as a sign that all is well. Historically, ravens have been seen as creators, destroyers, and tricksters.
A friend recently pointed me to this article. Reading it made it even more clear as to why I find ravens kindred spirits. Like those lovely birds, I have a long memory. Do me wrong, I won’t forget. As I said to a friend once, “I rarely forgive, and I never forget.” I am fully aware that this goes against all the new-agey, Oprah-approved, forgiveness is divine advice out there. I’ve tried to forgive and let go, but I really am not wired to do such. Rather, I hope (mostly for my sake) that I don’t run into said offender, lest all hell break loose. Wrong a friend, and I will do the same. So, the experts might find my behavior unhealthy, but it sure seems to work for the mighty raven! So this combination of a long memory, and ability to bear a grudge are part of my affinity to the raven. As they night say on an infomercial, “Wait! There’s more!”
Like the extraordinary raven, planning is my forte. In fact, my boss said as much to me only a couple of days ago. I can plan like a mo-fo. Further, I can look at a situation or problem and find many solutions. I can Frankenstein together what is at hand to make things happen. If I had feathers, I would surely preen them.
In short, I think I should update my resume this week to list “corvine” under my special skills.

So, after trying to come up with one of these lists several times over the last few years, I finally did it. I am looking forward to crossing things off of the list, and maybe put a stop to procrastinating some things. I will surely be blogging about some of these things (#33!) in the future. Here I go!
For more info on creating your own list of 101 things to do in 1001 days, check out http://www.dayzeroproject.com/
1.Run a marathon
2.Perform in a burlesque show
3.Get to my goal weight (and stay there!)
4.Gut and remodel our main bathroom
5.Give our second bathroom a facelift
6.Fill in the pass-through window in our kitchen, put in a fan, and change archway at end to new pass-through, use removed tile to repair cracked tile.
7.Finish porch redo.
8.Put in walkway between patio and garage.
9.Clean out the garage.
10.Read all the books on our bookshelf I haven’t read.
11.Watch all the movies on our DVD shelves I haven’t watched.
12.Get my main WoW character up to the top level (finally!)
13.Put moulding in hallway and entry way.
14.Patch and touch up entry way paint.
15.Sell all the crap we don’t need on Craigslist or Ebay.
16.Make all the things I have patterns and matching fabric for.
17.Take care of my alteration and repair pile.
18.Take care of my project box.
19.Go to England and Wales with G.
20.Live in LA.
21.Draft and build a corset.
22.Enter Masquerade at CONvergence.
23.Get my wedding gown taken care of…finally.
24.Get my Mystery tattoo. (Mystery is the name of the black cat I am getting tatted, not that the tat is a mystery)
25.Get my running tattoo after completing my marathon.
26.Get my Raven tattoo.
27.Take a ballet class.
28.Take a tap class.
29.Take ballroom dancing.
30.Finish framing and hanging prints for the hallway.
31.Get G’s dragon triptych framed.
32.Do NaNoWriMo and complete it.
33.Write in my blog at least once a week for a year.
34.Write in my secondary blog at least once a week for a year.
35.Do my top secret project!
36.Try out for the Roller Girls.
37.Go to the Lizzie Borden house.
38.Volunteer at the WRCMN.
39.Take a pattern drafting class.
40.Take a metalworking class.
41.Get somewhere on the genealogy of my paternal grandmother’s family. (at least two more generations)
42.Go to Ghent, Belgium
43.Put at least six months of income in my savings account.
44.Visit the MIA
45.Shoot a gun at a shooting range.
46.Divide and move my perennials.
47.Enter an event at the MN State Fair.
48.Get at least $1K in donations for the ADA walk.
49.Find the perfect armchair for the living room.
50.Spring clean every nook of the house.
51.Use the Solo Vino GC we got as a wedding gift.
52.Use up all soaps, lotions, etc. before buying more (including hotel bottles)
53.Shop at Farmer’s market at least once a month during the summer months.
54.Create and follow a household budget.
55.Visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
56.Learn how to ice skate.
57.Make our wedding album.
58.See all Oscar Best Picture winners from my lifetime.
59.Go to the NAIAS preview black-tie gala with my sister.
60.Make a pair of jeans.
61.Learn curling.
62.Spend a day wearing a realistic mustache in public.
63.Taxidermy a squirrel (that died of natural causes)
64.Contribute to the Roth consistently for one year.
65.Redesign and update etherea page.
66.Make an inspiration board for the office, and mini versions for my work locker and cupboard.
67.Host a summer get-together.
68.Make all gifts for one year.
69.Get eight hours of sleep each night for a full week.
70.Weed out CD collection.
71.Screen in front porch.
72.Find out my blood type.
73.Start a compost pile.
74.Get in the 12+ club at the gym.
75.Visit my dear friend LaLa in Spokane.
76.Tour the Glensheen Mansion.
77.Pay off all non-mortgage debt.
78.Purchase prescription sunglasses.
79.Go out dancing 12 times in a year (not including special events).
80.Build a men’s suit.
81.Try snowboarding.
82.Get another series of teeth whitening from my dentist.
83.Paint a painting.
84.Have a custom pair of raw denim jeans made for me.
85.Go see Mount Rushmore.
86.Go to Wall Drug.
87.Get a professional facial.
88.Get a past life regression done.
89.Purchase a Liberty of London dress.
90.Eat at Chino Latino.
91.Do an in-line marathon.
92.Get wedding ring re-appraised for insurance.
93.Learn millinery (specifically, how to block hats).
94.Learn and practice meditation.
95.Get a martini at Bradstreet Crafthouse.
96.Go to Dirk’s Zombie Den.
97.Go to Psycho Suzi’s.
98.Attend Glamorama.
99.Buy something from the art vending machine at Chambers.
100.Go to the Spam museum.
101.Put $10 in my savings account for each item completed. At the end, donate $10 to charity for each uncompleted item.

Whoa! How is it practically Christmas??? I realize I had a roughly fifty percent success rate for my attempt at posting every day in November, and thought that surely I would have posted by now. However, staring at a computer screen of AutoCAD drawings for eight or more hours everyday makes me less than excited to sit down on the computer. Mostly because my eyes can’t deal with it any longer. Luckily, I’ve had plenty of opportunities for fun and exploring on the weekends! I made it to NYC both weekends, and got to see some dear friends who’ve transplanted there. I’ve hit some amazing things in Philadelphia, and made some new friends that I will have to visit now.
Best of all, my dear G had the thought to come out for a visit!! So, this last weekend, I got to share all the fun with him. This really helped, since this second weekend, and another week on this trip was just a little too much. It’s amazing how just a couple of days with my sweetie re-energized me for the week.
I am optimistic that I will find a way to make some recaps of the amazing adventures I’ve had happen!!

Okay, so maybe that’s an exaggeration. I’m happy in some areas, but feeling a little blue about others. Right now, work is going well. I’m still in Philly, planning a major remodel for work. I kind of wish I had more time for exploring, but I do need to pay the bills, ya know? Luckily I get along well with the people from my location that are here. Plus, most of the people I am working with are great. I expected I would get along well enough with them to work alongside them. I mean, people in my department tend to have things in common, no matter what location they are at. However, I am making some great friends.
Friday night was dinner out, Saturday was shopping until we dropped. Even having just met a couple of the girls I was with, and only having been able to spend time at work with the other, we gelled wonderfully. We even went into a ridiculous formal shop and tried on the weirdest dresses we could find. We laughed and had a wonderful time. Today, we hit a thrift shop after work. The stock was disappointing, but we managed to have a fantastic time.
I kind of think it’s funny. I mean, I am getting along better with some of these people better than people I’ve known for a long time. Unfortunately, they will go back home to their part of the world, and I to mine. After this week, we have three weeks left together, so no more crazy times. I mean, I know I can have some crazy times at home, but I feel like being out here is highlighting how stir crazy I am getting at home. I have been ready to pack up and ship out for a while. Unfortunately, having a house and debt makes it a lot harder to get out of dodge. I am trying to remain optimistic, but it’s hard to enjoy the moment when I am ready to move on to new and exciting adventures.
Since the next adventure is further out on the horizon than I might like it to be, I am trying to focus on my dreams, and get them going now.
Two things I have been dreaming about for quite some time are having an accessory business (with the potential to lead to a full clothing line) and becoming a burlesque performer. I started an Etsy shop earlier in the year, participating in a craft show. Unfortunately, sewing isn’t the most transportable career. Right now with traveling with the ol’ day job, I haven’t been able to do much actual sewing. Luckily, I’ve been poking around some pretty fabulous shops, and have got some great inspiration. I had a few things that I prepped, but those didn’t get in my bag…among them my sketchbook. So, I have to settle for sketching on some extra paper and in my planner. As soon as I get home, I will be putting that sketchbook, and my pencils in my bag first thing! I also have some fabrics to research to see if they are something I can even get my fat little fingers on! So, at least I am focusing on that on some level.
I am continuing to work on some burlesque ideas. I think some of my lonely evenings in my hotel room would be well spent practicing choreography. I had to skip this session of classes, and the thought is weighing me down a bit. I am trying to remind myself that this is a good thing. I mean, that is some extra cash I can put towards my performance class in the Spring, and to build costumes. I quite hope that by the time we journey out west, I will be of a caliber to join up with a troupe out there, and run my accessory business. It would be delightful to make my dollars these ways, and have the flexibility to audition like a fiend and see what else awaits me.
Finally, I am continuing on with my running. I am looking forward to two or three half marathons and a full marathon in 2010. Focusing on my fitness allows me the energy and the positivity to follow my dreams. Not to mention a hot body, which is sort of important when I will be showing it off!

Whew! One would think that with me posting at this hour, I must have been running about the town, partying hard. Not so much. I stayed up late having a pseudo slumber party with my friend, Soni. Instead of sleeping over, however, she wandered back down to her room, and I am still here.
We spent the day at the infamous King of Prussia mall. I had never heard of it, honestly, until a coworker mentioned it on our way here. Some of the girls from another location who are here for the same purpose mentioned they were going today, so Soni and I tagged along for some shopping fun. The place was huge! Two buildings, plus a perimeter of restaurants besides those located in the two huge buildings. We arrived around 12:30, and started at Urban Outifitters. I wasn’t planning on doing much, if any, purchasing. However, I found two dresses that fit perfectly, and were half off of the clearance price. I got them, leery it would quickly become a day of packed shopping bags dangling from my shoulders and hands. We went to DSW, luckily I didn’t find anything on my need list, although there were a lot of gorgeous shoes that needed good, loving homes. Sadly, my pocketbook wasn’t ready to help me bring them all home. We continued popping around, I found a gelato stand, and the lemon gelato was calling my name. So delish!!! The other girls ran to the car to take out a load of bags, and Soni and I continued on. We hit a shop of RIDICULOUS formal dresses. We went in to investigate, and wound up trying on some insane dresses. Just to give you a clue…the first one I tried on was peach with a sheer corset and sheer ruffle. The very top (which, fortunately, was not sheer) had beading as did the weird ruffle. The portions that were satin, just covered the NSFW bits.
We continued on. Lots of things were tried on, but I didn’t purchase anything. I did squeal like a schoolgirl when I saw a real-live Thomas Pink shop. I purchased a Christmas gift there, and was pleased to check that off the list. There were many shops I wanted to check out, but I knew I would just be sad to not be insanely wealthy. The mall also had an exhibition of the local opera companies costumes, which was delightful. It made me long to work for a company with a crazy budget to create costumes made of silks. I tried on hats at nearly every stop, but managed not to get them all. Lunch was at the Corner Bakery, which was fun and delish, and we all shared pictures with our cameras and phones. It was fun to see everyone’s families and pets and loved ones. More shopping was done. I wanted to buy one of everything at Bebe, luckily Soni talked me down. Eventually, we made it back to Urban, where I made my last purchase, a cloche for $5. We were there until nine o’clock, and only saw a small portion of the place!
We headed back to the hotel via Target and the liquor store. I got some wine, and Soni was kind enough to join me to drink it. There was much giggling and gossiping and consuming of food and drink.
It was a fun girly day, and just the thing I needed to get my mind off of work and some of the people I know stressing me out. We are meeting such great people here, and I am sad they won’t be coming home with us.
Good thing we have the internet!!!