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Archive for August, 2006

call me crazy….

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

So, I tend to obsess. The things I obsess about tend to consume me, and block out everything else. Everything else then takes twice as long to accomplish, because I can only think about the few things I obsess over.
Basically, there are three things that could fill my time, and I would be a happy girl.
Acting. Traveling. Holding costume parties.
There are of course branches of these things. Most of the branches, I just picture done in my head, so that I can get to the real meat. Other branches I obsess over.
Take today for instance. Right now, I all I can think about is my birthday/Halloween (and thus, a costume party) and our trip. We have a partially torn apart kitchen and I have a fat ass. I should be doing yoga right now, as I type. I should be ripping out the rest of the cabinets and hauling them to the garage. However, I like to imagine both of these things as done. That way, I can move on to packing for my trip and decorating for Halloween and making a costume.
I’ve pretty much got my list of what to pack made. I need to ponder a few items before adding them, but I am pretty much done. My main concerns are having enough room to bring back fabulous Euro-souveniers, and not looking like a tourist. Oh, and not getting gross blisters on my feet. So, I have some wish list items on my packing list. These include:
1) A perfect pair of black shoes, comfortable enough to walk for miles, that are roomy enough (or have removable insoles) to accomodate my orthotics (thus allowing me to walk for miles), good looking and hip such that I can wear them with jeans or skirts, dressy enough that we can pop in and grab a bite without me worrying that I should change, casual enough to wear biking…basically miracle shoes! I am picturing sleek and black, with a tapered, probably squared toe, possible a mary jane type strap to keep them on, flat or slightly wedged heel to accomodate the walking, non-slip sole, ALL black (no natural rubber or whatever to delineate the sole). Oh, and we are broke, so I can’t spend too much money on the miracle shoes, and if I get them, I need to be able to wear them to work, to make the per wearing more palatable.
2) A flattering pair of black trousers. I have a pair that I think may be getting past their prime. I still love them, but I don’t know that they are the perfect pants for me anymore. I bought them *gulp* 12 years ago, on clearance, at Mervyn’s. They are wide leg, perfect to balance my large thighs. They actually fit my curves (i.e. my tiny waist and large ass). They are a natural waisted pant, which is now in vogue again. However, part of why I’ve loved them is they work with all of my vintage tops, and have a very 1930’s sportswear look about them. The only drawback is that there are two pleats in the front. Now, because they fit so well, the pleats lie nicely, and I can forgive them. Now that I’ve said all that, I am thinking I need a new pair. Not to replace the first pair, but to supplement. I’m thinking wide leg again, because, well, I’ve got thighs…and nothing skinny will work for me, unless I want to look dumpy. Which, I do not. I wish to look tall and slender and elegant. I am also thinking flat front. Possibly with belt loops…possibly. Also, I am thinking cuffs. What do all you fashionistas think? Could I pull off a wide legged cuffed trouser??? Where can I find a pair to fit my ample rear, yet not gap at the waist such that I could keep a friend there? I also need them to be affordable, and I would love for them to last for years. I like to buy things that I love that I will have for a long time, because it is so difficult to find the perfect clothes. When I do, I get very attached…if something happens to the item, I mourn. I try to find a replacement, but everything I look at only screams to me how it will never be as perfect as what I had.
3) Here’s where I get crazy. (Yes, here. Not before.) The last item is a pair of fabulous dark jeans. The pair I’ve got is giving up the ghost. They are Express stretch jeans. I got them brand new for $1 at a thrift store. They fit me as though someone made them for me. They are dark, and because of the hint of stretch, they are flattering and slimming, not sausagey. However, thanks to my thighs….the inner seam is fraying. They didn’t have any ridiculous fading on them. They didn’t look like they had been worn in a sandbox before I got them. They were perfect. About a year after I bought them, I actually set foot into an Express store to see if I could get more. Well, heaven forbid they actually manufacture anything for more than a minute. All I could find were what they called an “editor” pant. Some of which were in denim. Most of which had the forementioned fading or dirt marks. Bah. The one time I am willing to fork over and buy something in a retail store at full price, and they don’t have anything.
So, I am still on the hunt. Today, I looked at The Sartorialist, who is covering his fashion week shopping. He was at APC in NYC, buying jeans. A big discussion about raw denim ensued. At first this sounded totally ridiculous. Buy the smallest size you can fit into, they will stretch. Don’t wash them for the first 6 months until they are broken in. The washing instructions were varied. Some said to dry clean once a year at most. Some said to wash them in the shower, while wearing them. Some sites that sell them say to wash them inside out, by themselves. Some go with the dry cleaning. Some go with the wear-a-day air-a-day approach. However, somewhere in all of this…they became an obsession. Supposedly, they are like old-timey jeans. You break them in yourself, because the denim is totally unlaundered, just like back in the day. Any fading or wear happens from you actually wearing them. They conform to your body. They last for a billionty years, because they start out so virginal and pure. I’ve actually looked at some of the sites. The APC jeans seem to run from 100-130 Euros. That’s a lot of damn money for a pair of jeans. However, if they really last for as long as all these devotees say….the per wearing price would wind up being less. However, all my friends tend to be broke like me….so I don’t personally know anyone who has purchased raw denim. If I can knock over a bank, I would love to be the first. Also, APC is French. What are the odds that they run any cheaper in one of their stores in France? Along with that, what are the odds that they won’t call me an American cow and boot me out of the store, as they only have jeans for Parisian girls who are seven feet tall and whose diets consist of cigarettes and coffee.
Hrmmph. I guess this brings me back to the yoga I should do to tighten some of my weak muscles, and the cabinets I should rip out. However, I will envision myself wearing the perfect pair of black shoes, and changing between the perfect black pants and the perfect jeans. I am actually considering making the black pants. However, I am not a cobbler, so no shoe-making for me anytime soon. Also, I don’t feel I have the tailoring skillz as yet to make a pair of jeans. Maybe this is why I wind up buying full skirts most of the time.

the rules…

Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

1. Go into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. You can add the date if you like
Besides, I have no money…so there.
March 14, 2004

wrong…but funny…

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006

suicide how-to.jpg

friday on a monday…

Monday, August 21st, 2006

since i’m always a little behind with a lot of behind…
1. Do you really make wishes when you blow out the candles on your cake? Yes, I do.
2. Have any of the wishes ever come true, if yes? Only time will tell.
3. How do you feel about birthdays? (e.g., love the attention, just another day, don’t want anyone to know my real age, etc.) Here’s the deal. I love birthdays. I am happy to make a fuss over anyone’s birthday. Of course, mine is very imprtant to me. I love a huge party with all my friends…going out and partying the week before my birthday….I love that my birthday is near Halloween…so the costumes get to come out…and I love turning 25 every year.
4. Tell us a favorite gift you’ve received, or something you’d really like for your next birthday. One favorite gift? Just one? I love any gift that has thought behind it. G has gotten me some good ones, including tickets to concerts and shows that I really wanted to go to. One year it was a sold out Marilyn Manson show that I thought we missed out on, but he managed to score us tix.
This year, I just really want all my friends to make it to my party, and to get my tattoo after years of talking about it.
5. What flavor cake? Marble…mostly white with a little chocolate…not the other way around. Extra tasty when it’s shaped like a coffin.

let’s go out to the ki-tchen…

Monday, August 14th, 2006

So, a few years ago, G’s parents got us a stove for Christmas. Actually, they gave us a picture of a stove, and told us we could pick one out. Well, for whatever reasons, we just got it. It’s pretty and stainless steel, and matches our fridge and dishwasher. However, once it was put in, it furthered the necessity of a new kitchen.
See, our current kitchen is not only ugly, it isn’t very functional. I also am pretty sure that the guys who finished our condo were drunk, or high, or lazy, or some combination of those. For instance, the wall which houses our fridge and stove has a base cabinet and three wall cabinets. The first wall cabinet is full size and hung over the base cabinet. The second is a short cabinet above the stove. It is not attached to the first cabinet, nor is there anything to hide the gap between the two. It is not hung so that the tops of those two cabinets line up. The third cabinet above the fridge is another shortie and is not attached to the second cabinet, the gap is visible, and it is hung so that it neither lines up with the second cabinet, nor the first. They are all hung just a few inches from the ceiling. Not enough space for storage, or anything, just enough to be annoying. The base cabinets have one shelf each. These shelves are only half as deep as the cupboards, for reasons unbeknownst to me. We have four tiny drawers. They only fit a few things in each, so storage for things like linens is an impossibility. I wound up buying a little wooden cabinet for the purpose. The countertops are formica that is supposed to look like butcher block, but is really just ugly.
Since we want to move, I had thought about just painting the cabinets, and letting the next owners deal with it. But, since I just got a bonus discount at work, and since we have interest-free employee credit, we decided just to go for the gold. We measured, and planned, and ordered new cabinets! They are pretty, and white. Some detail, but not fussy…simple, clean. A GORGEOUS sink. It’s beautiful and white, and spacious. A kick ass faucet that the head detaches for a cool showery deal (something I’ve desperately wanted!), a laminate counter that is like a charcoal grey stone look. It’s pretty. It should also look nice with all of our stainless appliances. We also figured out a place for a column of three drawers. A regular drawer, and two deep drawers…so I will have a place for things like potholders, and towels! We also are putting in this cool pull out dude, where we will be able to keep things like cleaning supplies and garbage bags, and won’t have to dig. They will be easily accesible and visible. We will also hang the cabinets up against the ceiling. Crazy, but isn’t it so crazy, it just might work???? The cabinets should also fit up against each other, so it will actually look like maybe we planned it that way. Another crazy idea, I know. Ooh…and I got a pot rack. For pots and pans…get your mind out of the gutter!
The cabinets are at the store, so I shall go first thing in the morn and arrange for them to be delivered. G and I are going to pick ot tile for the floor tomorrow. We are going to do the kitchen/entryway, and the hallway. The hallway is easily the highest traffic part of our house, and the carpeting looks crappy there as a result. We thought about doing laminate floors like we did in our living/dining room, but decided that it would look better continuity-wise for us to do tile. Plus the tile is more heavy duty. We will have to rip out the carpet and subfloor in the hallway, and put in new subfloor, due to water damage from our (next to be remodeled) bathroom. I would love to just have tile through our whole house, but in MN that’s just not what the masses want, so we will wind up with laminate in the two bedrooms. It’s funny, I grew up with hardwood floors in my room. I always wondered why I didn’t have carpet like everyone else. Now, that I’ve lived on my own for a while, and have lived with both…I have grown to despise carpeting. It is basically jsut a breeding ground for dirt and living things. I probably run our home steamer more than I am supposed to, but no matter what (especially with pets) it always seems dirty. However, with a hard floor surface, you sweep or vaccuum, you mop and disinfect, and you are good to go. something spills, you wipe it up and don’t panic at how it will come out. I am super amped to rip out yet mroe carpet in our place, and replace it.
Anyhow, I digress. I could actually wet myself, I am so excited. I know it will be a lot of work, but I am looking forward to having a pretty and functional kitchen. Oh, and having a party to celebrate when it’s done. The only drawback is using paper plates and plastic cups while we paint and put in the floor, but I can deal with that, ’cause we’ll have a new and improved place to wash our dishes and cups when we are all done. Hurrah!!

falling into place

Thursday, August 10th, 2006

With just over a month to go, our trip to Europe is feeling more real every day! It doesn’t seem like that long ago we were only saying we were going. We fully intended to go, but it was still only talk. Now, we have nearly all the ducks in a row…hurrah!
G informed me we have train tickets. Those were probably one of the more pain in the ass parts of the planning. After looking over all the options, we decided that we would do a first class room for the longest part of the trip. This way, we wouldn’t be sharing the cabin with two or four other people, or having to spend fourteen hours nearly upright. However, instead of a confirmation for this, we got a response that the singles were taken, , but we could do first class, sharing with two other people. This sort of defeated the purpose of why we were getting the first class. We didn’t want to share! Otherwise, we would have gone with the Couchette and shared with four others. Part of what didn’t appeal to me about this was the total lack of security. There were instructions to lock your luggage to your bed, and how the first part of the trip the beds would be sofas, then some dude would come and convert them, then we would have to be all quiet so peeps could sleep, then at the ass crack of dawn some other dude would turn the beds back into sofas. Not my thang. Although the picture of the couchette did look like fun. Hot coeds in cami tops, one with her hair in a towel, laughing and conversating. A party on tracks! The amount of fun they were having was nearly enough to make me concede to the couchette. But, we went for second class in reclining seats. I figure I can make my own fun. I will wrap my hair in a towel…I certainly have cute pj’s with cami tops. I shall laugh, and be cute, and sing “ROME if you want to, ROME around the world…” G is thrilled at the prospect of this, let me tell you. I have a feeling that he is going to tell the staff on the train that I’m being transferred from one asylum to another, and that I’m harmless. But, I think the pure fun I’m having will be contagious, and the train will sing along, and play truth or dare and do body shots all the way to Rome.
We also got our hotel, which allows pets. Almost tempting enough for me to pack a cat or two. However, I’m guessing from how much they love car rides, they will love a long plane ride (complete with layover), a hotel, three train rides, and a week on a boat even less. Bah. We’ve had our plane tix for a while, which was the first thing that made the trip seem real. Getting our new passports in the mail was pretty sweet, too. We had to get ours reissued since we both had name changes. I also discovered that I misplaced mine, which since I was getting it reissued anyhow, was no big deal. Except that I liked my old picture….even though that had to go anyway. I don’t like my new pic. I think the fact that it was 95degrees that day, and no matter how I tried to make myself up, I kept sweating the makeup right off were against me. Of course, they now have so much anti-counterfit shit on there, you can berely tell what I look like. Practically defeats the purpose. We spent the extra bucks to have them done in 7-10 business days, also. Theoretically, they would have been done in time, however in this day and age, where everyone’s a suspect, we didn’t want to chance it. Passports are funny things…when you don’t have one, it’s no big deal. When you do, you realize how much freedom you have.
Now, I just have to figure out what I need to bring, and my must see places, and where the cool nightspots are, and we should be good.
Any tips on the nightlife?

surprises rock….

Wednesday, August 9th, 2006

….good surprises, that is. I came home from my part time job this afternoon, dreading going in to the full time job. I checked the mail on my way in. There were two pieces of junk mail in our box, ready to go in the recycle bin. Then, I spied a package sitting under the box. I head into the house and call G, and tell him there’s a package with his name on it. He tells me not to be dissappointed, that it’s for him, but I can open it and tell him what I think. I open it, telling him I see vinyl….lots of it. He says that it wasn’t the package he thought it would be after all, and it is indeed for me. Hurrah!
The first thing I pulled out was the kicking the habit dress, that he bought me, we realized the size was wayyyyy off since it barely fit my size 0 sister, and he found another in a larger size! It looks like this, except that it’s candy apple red with black accents. It even has a cool multi strand necklacey/rosaryish thing that dangles down the open back….SWEET!
kicking the habit dress.jpg
Then, there was this skirt
achtung skirt.jpg
It fits, but doesn’t look great on me yet. I think by the time we go on vacay, if I manage to follow South Beach until then (I have been eating junk food nonstop, and this works for me to watch what I’m eating, and get back into not wanting junk anymore) and work out (I also need to get into shape so that my Halloween costume is believable and I can reward myself with my tattoo). I have a great top to wear with it (the candy apple cami top G preciously aquired for me) and a nice jacket.
I can’t find a picture anywhere, but G also found me an older Lip Service jacket. It’s funky black fur, with these barbell-looking toggle closures. It looks like it was made from a goth muppet….it rawks! I love autumn anyway….now I have a great jacket to greet it with!!!
Have I ever mentioned that my husband is the best????

stupid irony.

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

So G and I signed up oh so long ago to be extras in a local film. Bascially, all the calls were for the same type of people and were being filmed at area bars. Well, one of the scenes was needing “goths.” A chance to work on a film and to dress up. So there.
SUnday was the day of the shoot. It was all right, just neither handled very professionally, nor very well organized. I am cool with things being small timey and all, but at least have a semblance of professionalism and organization, and well a dash of professionalism. However, I will say that a portion of that was not their fault, and I did wind up having a fine time.
We arrived two minutes after call time, totally freaking out since we didn’t want to be those people. There are a bunch of people hanging out on the sidewalk, with no sign of anyone who could be on the production side of the film. About quarter after someone shows up with talent releases. About half after the director and producer show up. I guess I am used to everything being set up, ready to roll when they are ready for the talent. Anyhow, we were stood up by the person who was supposed to open the location for us, so there was a scramble to find another location so that they wouldn’t have to scrap the day. The original location would have been suitable to film the three chunks we needed to do, but without it, we wound up at three different locations. This is where it gets interesting.
Since we were supposed to film the stuff we were doing first, I showed up in the dress, my black and red bob wig, total make-up and super tall boots. They said they could use me in regular clothes for the scene that would be first due to the change, and I had brought them, but it would have been too much work to get out of the gear, change, then to get back into the gear. So, I sat and waited. Eventually we moved over to the next place, where they said they would shoot our stuff. Well, the director tells us suddenly that he found a better location, but we only had half an hour to get what they needed. Everyone starts bustling off…and I ask where we are going.
Club Three Degrees. I thought they were kidding. Nope. (for those of you who don’t know, it is not so much a “club” as a “church.” They were recently in the news because after someone had filed for all the licensing and permits for their new strip club, CTD decided that they were a church after all. Now, since they are very careful to mask the “Christian” part of their endeavor as to lure unsuspecting club goers into the fold, this didn’t go over very well and the strip club shall open.) We head over, and the head guy greets us at the door. I realize very quickly that they made their generous offer of us filming there in hopes of converting us. We get inside the club, and it is very posh, industrial looking. Everything is modern and red and black with brushed silver accents. There is a huge stage with their rock band practicing (I could tolerate some of the music if I tuned out the words). We could tell the family that was already there was freaked out by a bunch of weirdos coming into their space, but guy assures them it’s just for a movie. We are told to line up against the bar. This is hilarious. We are staring at a huge placard with a silhouette of a disco shick on it, with the club name. There are other large placards with the drink menu. This includes, smoothies, super sweet smoothies, flavored milk–bubble gum flavor is at the top, and a host of overpriced sodas and coffee drinks. Right-o. I often crave bubble gum flavored milk while at a club. Or church service. Or both. As we are filming, another freaked out looking family enters, and guy gives them the same assurances. We finish our scene (which if it makes it in, G and I are pretty prominent, even with close-ups of our faces!) and gather to leave. Guy is standing on the stairs, doing sort of a backwards walk to try and keep us in. He tells us they are having a barbecue that starts in two minutes, with burgers and brats, and we are welcome to stay. We try to keep moving. He tells us the barbecue will be followed by a short, half-hour service. Still moving. The…wait for it…he says…I kid you not…”Then we’ll be baptizing people in the hot tub all night long.”
Baptisms. In. A. Hot. Tub. Seriously.
We left giggling. I wondered if, since I have already been baptized, if they will just let me sit in the hot tub…..especially since my baptism was of the pitcher of water and a bowl variety.
As my friend Jen said after I told her the story, “Did you have any idea this was happening in our city?”
Indeed, I did not.
Bonus points to whoever can tell me who said the above quote and what film he was working on when he said it.
G, you can’t play.

classic.

Monday, August 7th, 2006

So, last Sunday was Movieoke. After Movieoke, we decided to head over to O’Donovan’s. Our favorite karaoke hostess doesn’t work there anymore, but we were within walking distance and wanted to see if any of our friends were there. My sis was still in town, so the three of us ventured over. G was in his usual jeans and tee combo. I was wearing some new funky black capris (they were on clearance and not only fit…but looked cute–a miracle!!) and a Tripp polo shirt that has lace trim, gathered sleeves, and lace-up accents with comfy black flats and no make-up while sis was in a cute strappy black dress with fishnet accents. Very cute. Anyhow, we get to O’Ds and find an abandoned table, and figure that although we don’t see who we thought we might, G and I would sing a song before heading home to bed. I decided to sing “Stupid Girl” by Garbage (on of my karaoke faves). When my turn came, I was singing my heart out and rocking out, as one must do when singing Garbage. I notice these two guys sitting at the near end of the bar, one with his back to me, and the other facing him and me. The one facing me gets the other to look at me. He proceeds to spend the rest of my song ogling me. Charming. I finish, and return to the table. Bar guy comes over and sits his drunk ass down. He introduces himself as Dave, first to G, then to me. He shakes my hand with a death grip. I shake and go to let go, ut the death grip does not loosen. I shake and release again, to no avail. After several tries, and my fingers turning blue, he lets go. He proceeds to ask what I do for a living, and prods for where and what city. I hear him go on about being from Wisconsin. Something about a small town, something about Minneapolis. I wasn’t really sure. Then he reaches over and pulls my right sleeve edge up to my shoulder. I must’ve had the “WTF???” look on my face, because he lets go and explains that he thought I had a tattoo. Okay drunk guy. He then starts to talk to G. Alliecat and I have no freaking clue as to what they are talking about, but G has to leave the table for his song. Drunk guy leans over to me and slurs something about “that guy” telling him to leave and some other mumbly slurry stuff. He then leans over to Alliecat and asks if she is married, she says yes, and he goes on, sort of sarcastic-like, about how happy he is for her, and how great that is, and how he used to be married but now he’s divorced. AFter what seems like a decade, he gets up to leave. He extends his hand to Allie. She remembered what happened to me, and keeps her hands on her purse, saying Goodbye. He is insistent, and catches her in the eternal handshake.
As we are walking back to our car, we are talking about weird guy, and I am trying to figure out how I repeatedly attract the weirdest guys. G tells us what he and the drunk guy talked about. Apparently, drunk guy leaned over to G and asked, “So, which one do you want? I don’t want any conflict man.” G replied that since one was his wife and the other his sister-in-law, that maybe he should look elsewhere. I have to say that goes down as the most awesome attempted pick-up I’ve ever had. I think it tops the guy who asked for directions….to my heart and the guy who approached G in the bathroom to aske if he was with me, and then asked if I was single. I am so glad that I get only the dudes with the most discriminating of tastes.
“Hutch: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want cause we’re gonna stick to this?
Starsky: I’ve always had a thing for blondes.
Hutch: Good, cause I’ll take anything.”
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in Starsky and Hutch (2004)