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Archive for July, 2005

i want a trained squirrel!

Saturday, July 23rd, 2005

We finally saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night. I had a pair of free movie tickets I won at work, and since we be po’, we figured we should make the most of them.
anyhow, first off, great previews. The Ice Age 2 teaser was freaking adorable. I love Scrat. Making the teaser about him was a stroke of genius. Harry Potter is going to be great…I hope. Goblet of Fire is my favorite book of the series…they’d better not screw it up. (I realize that I need to decide if I’m just going to wear my Hogwarts uniform to see it, or if I want to be Fleur, or Rita Skeeter…oh the possibilities. Plus I need to make two Halloween costumes before then…I need to get cracking!) And, of course, the lovely Corpse Bride. (Oooh…I could wear my wedding gown to it…make myself look all corpsey…hmmm…).
So, back to the film in question. This is easily one of Burton’s best films. Definitely his best in recent memory. Uh-may-zing. One of my absolute favorite things about this movie, is that the little crooked house was adequately captured. That is, to this day, the strongest image I have from the book (which I have not read since I was wee). The ancient grandparents all tucked into the same bed. Captured perfectly. The casting was phenomenal*. Freddie Highmore is amazing. I am so leary of kid actors. Everyone fawns all over them, like they are so adorable, and 99% of the time, I want to slap their smarmy little faces. But not this kid. He is so genuine, and he is cute, in a normal kid sort of way. Wonderful as Charlie. And his whole family…the right look, the right vibe…they sold it, and I bought it, all the way.
Johnny Depp was in-freaking-credible. He nailed Wonka right on the head. He was indeed the eccentric candy-maker, through-and-through. And he was freaking hi-larious. Seriously, some of his lines had tears in my eyes. If he could get an Oscar nod for Pirates of the Caribbean (he was fine, but that was such a mediocre film), He should get one for this. He captured all of the qualities of the nutty artist, and the isolation of Wonka. He was brilliant.
All of the children were delightfully awful. And I was so happy that all of the original songs from the book made it in for their downfalls. And the squirrels! The amazing squirrels. (they did actually train the squirrels, but there were fewer, and they multiplied them…but they were still amazing). I can’t blame Veruca for jumping down there. And that they actually dragged her off…beautiful. Mike Teavee reminds me of my nephew, O. He sort of looks like him, although not as disarmingly beautiful as O is. But the way he talked, and such…it was a little eerie. We will have to make sure he doesn’t turn out like Mike Teavee.
The Oompa Loompas were great. Again, something this film got right. Funky, but believable. And of course the process to get Deep Roy as 165 Oompa Loompas is amazing. Very detail oriented, that Mr. Burton is.
And finally…Danny Elfman. Wow. Blew me away again. I must have that soundtrack (just call me Veruca). Every time I see a film that he has scored, his music gives me goosebumps. People with that level of talent just boggle my mind. I seriously can’t wrap my head around how he creates it all. He is fantastic at capturing a mood.
Oh, and I can’t forget the design of the film. It really felt like the book. The use of color, and texture was incredible. Even the details, like Wonka’s purple latex gloves (when you see the film, you will know why). The right balance of realism and surrealism.
I could seriously go on, and on, and on…but I won’t. If you haven’t seen it, see it…you won’t be sorry. Especially if you grew up reading Roald Dahl. I am already hoping that they make Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator after this.
*What is with Helena Bonham Carter anyway? Let’s see, we’ll put her in monkey make-up. Gorgeous. Let’s make her look like a crack whore. Yup, still beautiful. We shall give her some seriously fucked-up British teeth…and she is still hot. Does she have some sort of supernatural powers? How is all of this possible? I am trying to understand…but alas, I fear I won’t.

i knew it

Thursday, July 21st, 2005

You're the Rock Star!
You’re the Rock Star!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey‘s Personality Test Generator.

Fuck college, fuck a “real” job! Music is your life! You’re a hometown hero! You’re in at least two local bands and are thinking of forming a third. You sleep on your friend’s couch, eat your friend’s food, and borrow your friend’s car. You frequent the dark city bars and hang with the other rockers and groupies. You wear dirty jeans, well-worn t-shirts, and your hair is a mess. You’re sinister and mysterious and look as if you don’t give a shit. You worship the Rolling Stones, MC5, and your older brother’s band. You’re gonna make it big one of these days, you can just feel it.

So not getting it….

Monday, July 4th, 2005

As we sat at the pub last night, I realized how I really am not understanding today’s trends at all. I mean, when I see a random sampling of the atrocities that pass for fashion, I can ask myself wtf were they thinking and move on. However when I am at a mainstream bar, they are out in full force. The women that think they look great, because they are wearing exactly what everyone else is wearing. But seriously, this shit doesn’t look good on anyone. And, I never thought I would say this, but the original things from the 80’s that this crap is based on looks better.EEK!
Here’s the thing, I am a clothing/fabric/shoe whore. I love to see the construction, how the fabric works with the design, how it all comes together with accessories. I always have. I still occasionally design and construct original items (when I have spare time). I wear things that are flattering to me. I try to purchase things that i love enough that I will wear for a long time, and that are either classy or funky enough to not be trendy.
Thus I am perplexed. First of all, who made the decision that short would constitute dressy or formal wear? I spied a woman last night who would have looked gorgeous had her bermuda shorts been slacks. Instead she looked stumpy and confused. Although the bermudas aren’t quite as bad as the daisy dukes in tweed or satin or whatever paired with the same spike heels and glittery top. These are not looks that work on anyone. Then there are the knit gauchos that are all the rage. I am sure they are comfortable. For dance rehearsal. And the days when that is the only time they were worn were sweet indeed. Now I see women wearing them constantly. As casual wear, as formal wear. Anything that causes camel toe such as these gauchos, needs to be banned. I thought it was just a Courtney Peldon thing, but apparently it has spread to the masses. Then there are the shirts that look just like the sundresses i wore when i was 6. Oh, they were so cute on a six-year-old, what with the smocked top and the gathered skirt and empire waist… They would still be cute on a six-year-old. However, on a 28-year-old with too much makeup and a racerback bra…uh, no. Actually, on a pregnant woman, they would also be cute. But, why try to look like you are trying to smuggle a watermelon out of the restaurant? On purpose? There are all sorts of tops it seems that are only designed to make every woman on the planet look as though they are due any minute. I’m surprised that I haven’t seen more mumus and housedresses out and about. They would be more flattering, and you could pass yourself off as the neighborhood crazy lady.
And, while i am on this tangent…what is up with the purposely pre-wrinkled clothing? the first time i saw it in a store, I thought it was a new shipment that had to be steamed out. No, it’s a choice apparently. A choice to look like you forgot to take your clothes out of the washer for two weeks after the cycle completed, so your top dried in a ball, and you don’t own an iron, or have time to re-wash your clothes properly. Man, when I forget to pull my shit out of the dryer and hang it to cool, I am not wearing that out in public.
finally, did they stop manufacturing clothing in sizes? I mean is there just one size of pants that is two sizes too small for everyone, so any fat that is on their bodies is forced out over the waistband? Then of course, the tops are also too small, pushing the fat even further over the pants. Buy some clothing that fits. I understand weight fluctuation, believe me, I do. But when I gained 20 pounds, (which are gone now) I got a couple of things that fit, so that I didn’t look even larger. I am paranoid enough about having fat rolls without creating them where they don’t necessarily exist on their own.
I just don’t get it. There are clothes that flatter every body type, weight, etc. There are multiple sizes. Wearing a tent or a sausage casing are not flattering. I am all for loving your body, but then that whould mean you know how to flaunt it best. And there are some things that just should not be worn by anyone. And to see, literally, armies of women wearing this shit like a uniform…scares me.
Alright, I am off to wash my mind’s eye out with some bleach.